I have come to a halt in the forest and set myself down atop a rotting tree stump. I lean my face into my icy palms and take in shaky breaths as stubborn tears pour one by one out of my eyes. They burn against my cold cheeks and I wipe them away furiously.
I reach into my coat pocket and pull out my worn, black journal and flip through the cream colored pages until I come to a blank page. I remove my ballpoint pen from my other pocket and press it to the paper, writing in bold letters and am startled by another tear that slips out of the corner of my eye. Sighing, I look up through the trees, remembering the years gone by and a frown forms on my face. I return my gaze to my journal and read the hurried words, unaware of what I had even written.
The words say:
I HATE THAT I
YOU’RE A GOOD PERSON.
I am not at all startled by the words etched on the page – they came from the depths of my heart. They came from the part of me that has yet to get over what happened between us – even after two years.
I still wake up in the morning and see her sweet smile in my head.
I still go for walks in the park and hear her boisterous laugh.
I still look up at the night sky and see her eyes sparkling in the stars.
And when I close my eyes at the end of the day, I still replay the moment she turned on me.
I swallow a lump that has formed in my throat and place my pen back to the paper and write;
In many ways, memories can be our worst form of torture. The pain will still reside in the deepest parts of our souls. The memories will forever stay with us. In my experience, one does not “get over” something quite so terrible, rather one chooses to live with the pain -allowing it to consume them until they are nothing but a mere shadow, or one chooses to live through it – taking shaky steps through each day as they find just how to do that, until they are able to walk with stability. The pain is still there, they are still hurting deep inside, but they have managed to find a way to live through it, rather than with it.
So to my Dearest Christine, here is where I say goodbye to the happy days gone by, to the heart to heart talks in the middle of the night, and the laughs and tears we shared together.
Now I choose to live through the pain.
I lift the small pen away from the paper and let out a sigh as my shoulders droop from the burden that has been lifted from me. Too long have I allowed this pain to weigh me down. For too long have I allowed it to rule over me.
Now it was all gone and at last I could live again.
Not as the man I was before, but as a new man.
A changed man.
A healed man.
So I downloaded a free trial of this TOTALLY AMAZING PROGRAM called ZenWriter. It plays beautiful music, has an image as your background (so it’s not a boring white screen you’re writing on), and is completely designed to keep you immersed in your story. I love it so much and am going to have to look into buying the real thing pronto. O_O
So with the music playing, the background image, and the use of two writing prompts, this short story emerged. I’d never written in first person before and was actually really surprised by how much I enjoyed it! I’ll have to try it out a bit more. In some ways I feel like I wrote better in that POV than in third person…*thinky face*
Any feedback on this story/my writing is much appreciated! 😀
On another note, I’m like all done with NaNoWriMo prep and I’m kinda sad cause now I’m totally dying to write the book, but I have to wait so long to start on it! *cries* XD
What have you been working on lately?
Hi everyone and Happy Sunday! XD
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about making a Facebook page where I could share quick writing updates, inspirational quotes, and the like because I want to post about writing, but I don’t feel like I have a lot of ideas these days for in-depth blog-worthy posts.
So I made a Facebook page today and if you have a Facebook, I’d love it if you followed me there! You can see it by clicking here.
Also if you know any teenage writers with Facebook accounts that might find my page enjoyable, I’d appreciate it if you shared it with them 😀
And don’t worry – I’m still going to post about writing on here, but just only when I have a specific topic to discuss. 😉
Thanks for reading and have a great day!
Hello, my lovelies! *waves*
In case you didn’t know or realize – I have been in a crazy slump these days. I’ve had no motivation to really do anything and have kinda been feeling like a failure at life because of that. XD
But I’m finally overcoming that and have had some really productive days lately so I thought it was time for a writing updates post! 😀
A few days ago Emma and I decided we should start brainstorming book ideas for NaNoWriMo. It’s coming up quick, guys, and this time I want to be prepared – or more prepared than I was last year. I ended up hating the book I chose to write last year, so I wanted to give myself plenty of time to come up with something good. Thankfully, with help from glorious writing prompts on Pinterest, I’ve come up with a story that I am feeling REALLY excited to write! It’s about forbidden love, dragons, war, and waiting. It’ll be great. *angel face* I still need to finish up with my character worksheets, but um… It took me forever to do the first one so I wanted a break. #procrastinoratwork O_O
Today I really felt like WRITING. All the brainstorming the days before really got me motivated and I thought I was going to work on writing Chain Breaker, but then… Something happened and I suddenly found myself editing? I don’t know what happened there. XD
So as I was working on edits and changing things in my beloved story (and laughing out loud at my cringe worthy writing) I realized that this whole book just needs to be completely re-written. Over a year has passed since I first wrote it and it’s crazy, but my writing voice has changed and matured a lot since then, so it just didn’t sound like it was me that wrote it anymore. Plus there are just so many things that need fixing. Plot holes, character development, and the like (how is my character climbing down a cliff when he broke his hand like – the day before? Good grief. XD).
So I opened up a new Word Document and typed the delightful words “Chapter One.” And that set me off on the adventure of completely re-writing my precious book.
Originally, the first chapter had only 763 words. Now, today, I managed to re-write the first chapter with the same main stuff going on, but with more depth and detail to it and ended the chapter at 2,568 words. Whoa. O_O
I feel SO happy with my writing progress! Editing so far is going great – I feel satisfied and like it really is me writing it. And it’s just so cool to see how far I’ve come in a year.
And not to mention NaNo prep!! I’m going to try for the big 50K this year. I think this book has the potential to be that length, but we will see how that goes… ;D
Tell me! What’s going on in your writing life? Are you participating in NaNoWriMo? Have you started preparing yet?
Hi everyone!! It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these and some exciting things happened this month, so I decided it was time I did one! XD
I PRESENT MONTHLY RECAP JUNE EDITION – THE MOST EXCITING MONTHLY RECAP OF THE YEAR!
GUYYYSSS!! Do you know who that is? In the middle? Do you?? 😀
IT’S HERSHEY!! Known to you as American Girl Doll Artist from Small Dolls in a Big World! 😀
Hershey and I have been friends for over a year now and she and Emma became friends, too – we’re all super close BFF’S and text together constantly. We’ve been absolutely DYING to meet and on Friday we were finally able to!
I invited Hershey to my graduation party, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to come. I kept saying how much I wished she could and how amazing it would be if she did come. Little did I know that for the past two weeks she and our moms had conspired that they would come down as a surprise!
Friday night I was expecting that I was going to dinner with Emma, her mom, and sister to celebrate my graduation. Emma and I both had no idea what was in store for us! We walked into the restaurant completely clueless and were led to a table. I could tell someone was in the booth where everyone was standing by, but I saw empty tables to the right, so I was expecting we were going there, but I looked over and Hershey revealed her face with a little “Hello!”. I had never been more surprised or happy in all my life!! I just screamed “HERSHEY!!!” and hugged her before she even had a chance to stand up! My body was shaking and I felt lightheaded and short of breath. XD Right when Emma saw her she plopped in her seat and started crying.
We were all just smiling and laughing of shock, surprise, and pure joy! I thought it would be at least another year before I would be able to meet her face to face!
That was seriously probably the greatest night of my life! From the moment we met till we said goodbye for the night we did not stop talking and laughing. And it took quite a while for us to recover from our shock! XD There were even moments during dinner when I was looking at her as she was talking and was in tears because I couldn’t believe she was right there next to me!
The next day was my graduation party and Hershey was able to come over early so we could have some alone hanging out time. I brought her in my room and showed her a bunch of things. She and BB-8 really hit it off! XD I still can’t believe that she was in my room!!! IN MY HOUSE! AND THAT I HUGGED HER!! It all went by so fast it almost feels unreal to me!
Saying goodbye to Hershey was really hard (I cried a lot after she left), but I am SO thankful to her and her parents for coming down! I will never ever forget that night. <3
Jordan and Aaryn came down in June and we were able to meet the newest member of their family – Gizmo! Jordan and Aaryn rescued him from being sent to the pound and oh my word, I’m so glad they did! He is so sweet and adorable and funny! And majorly obsessed with food. He sits at your feet and watches you the entire time you eat, follows you around if you have food in your hands, and yeah. There are many stories of Gizmo and food, but that would take a while to tell them to you. XD
My mom and sister and I had a great time at Downtown Disney and doing some other fun shopping in the area. We bought POP!s, figures, and pins and went out to eat. Being at Downtown Disney reallllyy made us miss Disneyland. The smells. The music. The stuff. *cries* We really need our passes back…
I was able to see The Fellowship of the Ring in theaters for the very first time!! A local theater is playing each LOTR movie each month for only $5!! Right when the movie started – when the screen is black and all you hear is music and then Galadriel whispering – I lost it. Tears were streaming down my face. It was awesome. <3
I GRADUATED HIGHSCHOOL!!! I’m finally DONE! *blows party horn* I had a party to celebrate which was super fun cause I haven’t had many parties and my last one was forever ago. It was nice to have the house full of people and yummy foodies again (yes, we had Krispy Kreme donuts there).
I also got senior photos taken! I’ve never had a photoshoot before, so that was a pretty neat experience. Here are a couple pics:
Yes, BB-8 needed to be a part of it! XD
This is always the hard part of these posts… XD
1. I really want to swim this summer, so I’m thinking swimming will be involved in this month! XD
2. I might start looking for a job… I really wanna start working
3. My brother and brother in-law have birthdays this month, so we will be celebrating that!
4. I’ll be seeing The Two Towers in theaters this month and hopefully with a friend! 😀
I’m honestly not sure what is going on this month – it’s pretty open and free! Naturally I’ll be doing the regular things like cleaning, shopping, skyping, and watching movies/shows… XD
SPEAKING OF SHOWS – I started watching Merlin and I’m in love. I still love Once Upon a Time more, but Merlin is SOOOO good!!! :O
Okie, I think I am done rambling… XD
How was your month? Any fun plans for July? What’s the biggest surprise you’ve experienced?
Yesterday I went shopping with my mom and sister at Downtown Disney and also at a store near Disneyland called My D-Pins and Collectibles! Seriously, that store is probably one of the best stores ever. They have SO many POP!s, pins, collectibles, and old rare things that you can’t get anymore! We were in there for forever. *heart eyes*
So needless to say, I got a couple things and one of them was a Davey Jones Dorbz! He was $8 which I think is a very good price for such an adorable little thing. The more I looked at his face, the more I was convinced that he needed a photoshoot. You will soon understand why. O_O
Suspense to see his chubbiness… XD
AHHH!!! Is he CHUBBY or WHAT? Those eyes! That smile! The roundness! The overall CHUB! My heart can’t take it.
I was thinking of putting some of his quotes in with this shoot, but uh – he looks so chubby and sweet that all the quotes I can think of wouldn’t suit his expression. XD
For reals. His face makes me forget that he’s a villain. <3
Who doesn’t love Davey Jones, though? Even as a villain, he is epic and awesome and his story is sad and makes you love him more and and and – *dies*
If you can’t tell, I feel quite pirate-y. No thanks to the new POTC movie. *cries*
Do you like Davey Jones? What’s your favorite POTC movie (if you’ve seen them)? Have you seen the new one?
Hi everyone! And Happy late Easter! I hope you all had a great time celebrating the resurrection of Jesus with your loved ones <3 I got back home yesterday from visiting my grandparents and brother and sister in-law for Easter – we had such a great time! 😀
Anyway, I’m here to talk to you about my new book, so let’s get on track ;D
Back in, I believe it was February, I began brainstorming for a book I called Oblivion about two princesses living in the middle of a huge war between 4 kingdoms who escape to the underground cities and try to recruit their own army to fight against the kingdoms and bring peace to the land.
I started writing it and though I liked the story idea, I realized it was a story that I couldn’t write. It wasn’t my style and it was a boring book to write. Who knows if I’ll come back to it someday, but for now it is shelved 😉
But then…. There was this one character – a side character – that I really loved. When in the planning/brainstorming stages for this book, I had written a lot of backstory for the characters and the world they lived in, so I knew this particular character, Jairus pretty well. His story was so intriguing to me, that I thought – what if I made Oblivion a trilogy? What if Jairus’ story was the first one, the second Oblivion, and then a third that was after the war?
So then I started exploring Jairus and his story some more. I was quickly falling in love with this guy and his story (okay, that sounded a little creepy, but writers do fall in love with their own characters and stories XD ).
But then – I don’t know what happened. I stopped planning. I wrote Oblivion a bit more and then I stopped that. I was in a major slump and after talking with Emma, I realized I was over planning everything because I was scared to start writing. I have basically been in a slump since NaNoWriMo last year when I wrote a book I didn’t like. And then Oblivion didn’t work out. So how could I be sure that Jairus’ story would work?
After letting myself sit in my slump a bit longer and thinking more about Oblivion than Jairus’ story (and kinda forgetting that I had even thought of writing his book. Confusing, I know, but I’m weird.), I talked to Emma some more and she reminded me of Jairus and how much I love him and his story. So I made the decision to write his story. This was my new project, with Oblivion completely out of the picture.
So now, my friends, it is my pleasure to introduce you to my new book…..
Chain Breaker!! 😀 (just a note that it won’t really say “By L.M. Fluffet” when it’s done, but for now I didn’t want to show my last name on my blog 😉 )
I haven’t yet written a blurb for this book, but it’s tragic. Very tragic. My poor little Jairus. *sobs* *hugs him* *wants to protect him from all evil but doesn’t cause I love tragedy*
Okay, I’ll tell you more about it than just saying it’s tragic. XD
Chain Breaker follows the story of Jairus who was left at the orphanage as a baby and grew up longing to be a soldier of the king. When he turns 16, he is free to leave the orphanage and begin his training to be a soldier. In between training sessions, he talks with a servant girl and they quickly become friends and slowly start to fall in love…
A few years later, Jairus goes away to aid a neighboring kingdom in a war and when he returns, he proposes to Catarina (the servant girl). Jairus’ general finds out about this and urges him to end things with her, afraid that this love will distract him from his duties and prevent him from being the exceptional soldier he is.
The unexpected happens and Jairus watches his true love die in his arms. After this, Jairus resigns as a soldier and becomes a poor, broken soul with no hope and nothing to live for. In the end, a new friend helps Jairus to find Light in the darkness.
I LOVE JAIRUS!!!! XD
Ahem. Sorry about that. XD
I’d love to hear what you think about Chain Breaker! Are you just as excited as I am about it? What are you currently writing?
Hi everyone! I haven’t posted a story on here for a long time, so I found this old short story that I had started… I think last year, but never finished cause I hate writing fight scenes, but tonight I edited it, changed up a few things, and added more to the story. I hope you like it!
“I have nothing to apologize for,” I said as I leaned against the wall of the rickety old shack, my arms crossed over my chest. It was dark inside with the only light source being from the shrinking flames in the fireplace. The faces of my fellow gang members were shadowed, but I could still feel them staring at me with hate in their eyes.
“You went to Sidea and informed them of our whereabouts, telling them exactly where to find us, and yet you say you have nothing to apologize for? You are a traitor!” Russell roared, almost seeming to make the whole shack tremble when he slammed his fist atop the table. I stared at him with sarcasm – as though to appear that I was completely unaffected by his rage, but inside, I was in utter bewilderment. It didn’t make sense to me how he found out about my betrayal. I was super careful when I gave Sidea the information they needed- no one else was around, yet somehow he managed to find out, just as he always did. Still, I had to play it off as long as possible…
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would I betray the gang – my old friends – for Sidea?” I asked with a shrug.
Russell shook his head, seeming confused and disappointed. “Oh, Matthew. We had such hopes for you in our gang. Now, I’m afraid-”
“-you’ll have to kill me?” I predicted. Russell may always find things out after they’ve happened, but I was the one to figure them out beforehand.
Russell slowly turned to face me, a scowl on his face. “Exactly.”
Grinning, I shook my head. “Not gonna happen,” I said and made a dash for the door, but was punched back by Alvin.
“Nice punch, Al!” I said, “Try this one on for size.” I whammed my fist into his chin and he let out a cry of pain as he fell to the floor, clearing my path to make my escape. Before I could get out the door, Big Jim grabbed a hold of me and locked me in a choke hold. I was running out of breath fast, but I was not about to give up. I waited a few seconds to make my move and when I had waited long enough for Big Jim to believe he had me, I swung my legs up and jerked them back, kicking him firm in the shins which resulted in him releasing his grip on me and falling to the floor.
I fled out the door and despite the bitter cold that stung my eyes I kept moving forward, not daring to look back, for fear that the faint glow of the warm fire would be too tempting to resist.
After walking against the cold for what felt like miles, I found a small cave to rest the night, but I would have to get an early start so that the gang wouldn’t have a chance of finding me. I was on my own – not for the first time and I was sure, not for the last.
They called me a traitor and, sure maybe I was, but I did what I felt I had to do. I knew the gang would be coming after me, ready to kill, but I was more than ready to fight them back.
They used to be my friends….
…..but now they were my enemies.
What did you think? Feedback is highly appreciated! 😀 It’s not my best, but I still like it
When I saw the category for this one I was like – great. What am I gonna do for this? I don’t have any pets! So I asked Megan about it and she said a bug would work…
Okay, I thought that would be easy since we have tons of bugs around, but it just so happens that of all the days – NO BUGS WERE TO BE FOUND! I was a bit frustrated… O_O
So I stayed in my backyard for about a half an hour (maybe more) waiting for a bird to land close enough in a tree for me to get a good shot of it and VOILA! I give you the photo above! XD It was kinda fun, though cause I was listening to music. And after being sick for a week, it felt nice to be outside
How have you guys been lately?
Wow! I am so glad I remembered that this was due tonight – I was super close to forgetting all about it! XD
This was taken in October when I went with my siblings on a road trip to San Francisco. We saw and drove across the Golden Gate Bridge and it was absolutely amazing! As we were driving back on the freeway, I got this shot which pleasantly caught me by surprise. I had only intended to get a picture of the sunset, but was excited to see the bird silhouettes in the shot, too!
That day was so much fun and definitely my biggest adventure yet 😀
What was your biggest adventure?
I decided to enter Megan’s BIBPC since a couple of the teams lost a few members, so I’m here today with my entry! 😀
This picture was taken at the place that my mom and I do our craft fair – it was really neat cause I don’t think I’ve ever been there at night before. I decided to take some photos with my camera while I waited on my mom – this was one of my favorite pictures I took! 😀
Let me know if you would like to see some more of my photography from the craft fair – I took quite a few pics 😉